Forbidden Alliance
by ForbiddenAlliance
Summary: Passion, betrayel, drugs. What more can you ask for in a story? *Slash* SB/JP
1. Strange Begginings

Hey guys im really proud of this story so I hope you like it. Please R/R, it's what keeps me writing. Oh and im sorry about grammar mistakes I know I probably have a lot (Don't let them drive you to crazy!) : ) Oh yes and how can I forget the disclaimer : I am not nor will ever be J. K Rowling, I am just one of her many fans. You can tell the characters and setting are hers, the only thing that's mine is the "twisted" situations I have put the characters in : )  
So Read and Enjoy!  
  
  
  
  
"Thou are more beautiful than the brightest star...May I have the honor of leading you across the dance floor, lifting my soul to the heavens?"   
  
"Sirius Black...how many girls have fallen for that line this year?" she tried to put on her gravest expression but failed and proceeded to hide her smile by looking down. _Please Lily don't be stupid...you know he does this to every girl...oh please don't...don't fall for it._  
  
"About twenty, give or take a few" he grinned. _He was beautiful. Ever since their first year she had noticed him, which girl hadn't? He'd never paid much attention to her though...why was he doing so now?_  
  
Without another word he grabbed her hand and led her across the dance floor. He looked down at her and smiled as he pulled her closer._ She'd fallen. She knew this moment would live on in her memory forever. The warmth in his arms, the beating of his heart._  
  
"How do you feel..." he whispered into her ear. "Like I could die...."she whispered back and buried her face into his chest.  
Sirius smirked. He searched for his best friend in the crowd, their eyes met, and he winked. James stared back at him, an expression of disbelief in his face, he got up and walked out.  
  
*********  
He stared up at the ceiling. Rage filled his body, possessing every part of him. In the bed next to him Remus,one of his closet friends, whispered "Im sorry James" then pulled the drapes around his bed. _How could he do this to me...He knows I love her...Him out of all people...how could he do this..._  
  
He didn't know what time it was when he heard the dormitory's door opening. He looked over and briefly saw Sirus's outline before he closed the door leaving them in complete darkness. Sirius walked over to his own bed, and began to undress.  
  
_How calm he looked...how could he after what he'd just done?...He wanted to get up and kill him...He wanted to get up and remind him of all they'd been through together...of all he just threw away..._  
  
All of a sudden Sirius looked over at him. He stared at him for a moment then looking down at the floor he said "Rough night?"  
  
_How could he_....James suddenly sat up, all his emotions bursting out at once,"What the hell did you think you were doing tonight?" .  
  
"Jesus" said Sirius, he was clearly not expecting this reaction," lower you voice will you...you wanna wake the whole damn place up?"  
  
"What the hell were you thinking? Why her? You could have had anyone else! What the hell do you think you were doing?"  
  
"I was just getting laid-"   
  
James threw himself off his own bed, and in a second had shoved Sirius down.   
  
They looked at each other, both panting hard. "She was just a one night stand...she means nothing to me Potter...she's all yours...."  
  
James sat down and put his face in his hands, Sirius did the same. There was an awkward silence.  
  
"Are you sure that it's the fact that I was with her that bothers you or the fact that she was with me..."  
  
Sirius's words burned into his skin. _What has just happened...  
_***********  
The next day at breakfast Sirius had moved on to another girl. James watched Lily as she stormed out of the Great Hall followed by two of her friends. Remus came and sat next to him, "what happened last night?". "I don't even know" said James after a while. "I would have never gone for Lily...and I know how Sirius is. I don't know why I cared so much. I don't know anything anymore..."Remus looked at him, shrugged, opened up his D.A.D.A book, and digged into his oatmeal.  



	2. Conversations

**********  
He avoided Sirius all day. After dinner though this became an impossible task since they both had Quidditch practice. Sirius being the team captain came up to him and handed him his broom, "Good flying" he mumbled and walked away. He kept high above the field while Sirius watched everything from below. "Potter, stay after practice...your dive needs work" he roared after James almost crashed head first into the ground.  
  
The rest of the team headed back to the school as the first stars began to appear. James hesitated but ended up walking towards Sirius.   
  
"I slipped...You know my dive is always perfect."  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
"Then why did you ask me to stay?"  
  
"Look James" said Sirius turning around to face him "Your like a brother to me...closer...Im sorry about the whole Lily thing..That was so stupid of me...Im sorry..." he moved closer to James who stared straight at him. Their eyes met.  
"We all do things that we regret...just like im going to do now...." As their lips met the world became a blur around them. Their emotions melted and mixed into a swirl that flooded through their bodies...  
  
All of a sudden James pushed him away. He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his Quidditch robe and looked at Sirius, a horrified look on his face.  
  
"James...let me explain..." began Sirius but it was to late, James had already turned around and began to walk towards the castle. Sirius didn't try to stop him, he didn't try to catch up. Jesus what have I just done? Why did I do that? What's happening to me?  
*******  
"You kissed him? What the hell were you thinking?" said Remus looking down at his friend.  
  
"I've been hearing that a lot lately..." said Sirius looking away from Remus, and down the window to the Hogwarts grounds.  
"I don't know what I was thinking. I just saw him there, saw the pain that I had caused him...I couldn't stop myself. It just all of a sudden came out." They were silent for a while. "Do you think im gay?" said Sirius all of a sudden.  
  
Remus looked at him, despite the seriousness of the situation he began to laugh. Sirius looked at him and began to laugh to.  
"Well, do you? You still haven't given me an answer" he said after a while.  
  
"No, Sirius I don't. I don't think theirs anyone in this world who loves women more than you" he chuckled." I just think you love James...maybe a little to much." They both began to laugh again.  
  
"I do love him though...this is all so confusing...I don't like men...but I like him. Do you think he'll ever talk to me again?"  
  
"Knowing James he'll need time to think...to sort all of this out. Sirius, you know he doesn't feel the same way. He will never feel the same way. Why'd you have to go and kiss him?"  
  
"I like a good challenge?" Remus burst out laughing as Sirius plopped down next to him and sighted, "Tell anyone about this and I'll kill you"  
***************  
"Lily please, snap out of it."  
  
"Yeah Lily, he's not worth it."  
  
"I can't just snap out of it. I've loved him since the moment I laid eyes on him. Last night I thought all my dreams had come true. I hate him! I hate myself for believing in him! I hate all of this!" she buried her face into her pillow while the two girls tried their best to soothe her.  
  
"Don't worry you'll find another guy-"  
  
"I don't want another guy! I want him!" her sobs became louder. Both girls looked at each other and shrugged. They got up and walked out of the room closing the door softly behind them.  
  
I thought he was serious about me. How could I have been so stupid? How could I let him do this to me?...Black will pay, I will make him pay.  
******  
Why did it feel so right when it was so wrong? why did I let him kiss me for so long? Am I gay? Jesus...my best friend just kissed me...James laid on one of the bleachers of the Quidditch field. He hadn't dared go back to the dormitory, instead, after wondering around the dark school for hours he had come down here and slept. The dawns early light had awaken him and now he looked up at the sky and let his thoughts swallow him. If he hadn't been so caught up maybe he would have heard the steps of the person coming towards him.  
  
"Excuse me, James?"  
  
He was taken away from his thoughts by a gentle voice, looking up he saw the last person he'd expect to see.  
  
"Hi...I don't think you know me. My name is Lily...I...um..."  
  
"I know who you are" he said suddenly sitting up. "I've always known who you are, I will always know who you are."  
  
She smiled, a forced smile. She'd always known Potter was a loser but she didn't think he was this bad.  
  
"Im sorry if I've made you uncomfortable, sometimes im just so stupid, and then I start to babble...kinda like im doing right now" he smiled," please sit."  
  
Awkwardly she made her way through the bleachers toward him. Wiping the spot next to him with the sleeve of her robe she sat down. "James" she sighed then continued," as you probably know I kinda have a thing for Sirius. Up until yesterday I thought things were going to go great but well...I think you know the story..."  
  
She loves him. She loves him but he doesn't care about her. Look at how he's hurting her. Look at how he's hurting me. I don't want to hear about him now. I don't want to hear about anything right now.  
  
"So the point of all this is that I would like you to help me James. I want, I need you to help me make him jealous. Maybe when he sees you with me he'll realize what he's missing, maybe he'll realize that...James?"  
  
He looked at her, "Why me? Why don't you use some other guy?".  
  
Lily hesitated, "Well, um...I know your his best friend and sometimes when others take our things we don't care but when someone we know takes them then we care a lot. Do you understand what IM saying? Listen your the perfect guy for this. Plus your close to him, he'll be bound to see us together, he'll be bound to notice that im not around for him anymore. Please...James..Please help me..."  
  
Her deep green eyes met his. He'd do anything for those eyes. 


	3. Rude Awakenings

"James were did you sleep last night?"  
  
"Quidditch field..."  
  
"James...Sirius told me about what happened last night. He's scared. He's scared that he's lost your friendship. He's confused. He swears he doesn't know why he did it. James?"  
  
"He should have thought about it, he should have thought about the consequences. I can't deal with him right now. I don't even want to deal with myself."  
  
"What did you feel?"  
  
"Too much..."  
  
"James-"  
  
"I don't want to talk about this right now...everything is so weird...I have to go."  
  
"Don't do anything stupid James."  
  
"Nothing could be worse than the shit he pulled last night."  
******  
He didn't see Sirus until that night.   
  
"James...We need to talk."  
  
"What is there to talk about? What can you possibly say to make things better?"  
  
"Maybe what I say can stop things from getting worse."  
  
"Listen," he continued when he knew he had James full attention, "I don't know why I kissed you. I couldn't control myself last night. Something came over me...All these feelings surged inside of me. Feelings for you. But I know that nothing can ever happen and that you will never feel the same way and I swear that this will never happen again. I just don't want to loose you James..."  
  
He is willing to stop himself because of me. He is willing to stop himself from everything. But do I really want him to stop?  
  
"Sirus..."  
  
Sirus looked at him, his eyes filled with fear and regret...yet at the same time he could see that they held a sort of passion and want for the impossible.  
  
"Sirus Im so scared."  
  
None of them thought from that moment on. Sirus automatically pushed James down on his bed and closed the drapes around them. James gave a soft moan, trying to stop his body from trembling. But as Sirus started kissing his neck it began to tremble even more. "It's ok" Sirus whispered into his ear then proceeded to nibble on it. He knows everything he's doing. Well, it's not like he hasn't done it before thought James. And at that moment he was overcome with jealousy. Even though Sirus was now making him feel the most wonderful sensations, even if he was with him he felt jealous at the fact that others had had that same pleasure. In one quick movement Sirus had taken of his shirt, he now began to kiss James's chest, every kiss making James tremble even more. Sirus moved his hands down to James pants. He had began to unbuckle the belt when suddenly James pushed him off. "We can't do this" he said looking at Sirus's surprised expression. He pulled his shirt on and walked quickly towards the door, slamming it on his way out. Sirus sighted and began to get dressed.  
**************  
  
That night James and Lily ate together.   
  
That night Sirus sat in the dark dormitory and filled his veins with heroine.  
  
That night it was Reamus who slept out in the Quidditch field. 


End file.
